4 Awful Truths the Smith Kids Interview Revealed

By now, you've probably read the Willow and Jaden Smith interview that triggered a worldwide giggle fit and united us in our derision o...

By now, you've probably read the Willow and Jaden Smith interview that triggered a worldwide giggle fit and united us in our derision of rich teenagers. We may not agree on how to handle ISIS, but we all believe that kids who think they understand philosophy are the WORST. If you didn't read the interview, Will Smith's progeny said things like:
 
And:

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And:

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At which point the interviewer stopped the conversation to hunt for hidden cameras and Ashton Kutcher while the Smith children kept themselves busy by creating shadow puppets across each other's auras. When no hidden cameras turned up and no one from The Onion gave the interviewer a knowing wink, the kids stopped hovering in the air long enough to continue with their hard-earned wisdom.

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Thanks to this interview, readers have generated so many heavy sighs and eye-rolls that wind gusts from our faces have triggered the 2015 hurricane season six months early. With the vocabularies of perpetually high heroin addicts and the self-awareness of potatoes, the Smith kids have delivered enough comedy gold to get us through the holidays, which is certainly a Thanksgiving Miracle if there ever was one. Thank XENU for some much-needed levity in between Broad City seasons.
Now that we've ingested and pooped out our best jokes on the greatest (Pulitzer Prize-winning?) interview of the year, I'd like to step back a moment and remind everyone why kids like Willow and Jaden aren't so bad. In fact, I wish we had more of them.